Friday, December 5, 2008

Showtime...

My friend Carolyn brought to my attention a UKC show near where we live, coming up in January. Winnie would be just shy of six months old, and eligible to enter as a novice puppy in conformation. Apparently novice puppy is a pretty relaxed class, and Carolyn tells me that not a great deal is expected of either dog or handler. I thought it might be fun just to take part in a dog show and see what it’s all about. Winnie will be getting spayed soon enough, so I have no aspirations for her to be a show dog or, much less, me to be a show dog person. Though I might be interested in participating in obedience trials in the future. For now, though, I just thought it would be fun, so I asked my wife Sandy what she thought. She was enthusiastically in favor of the idea.

Granted, her excitement may stem from her love of comedy and a fond memory she has of a long ago attempt I made to enter my German Shorthair into the obedience ring at the age of a year or so. Sierra was excellent at sit/stay, down/stay and heeling on lead, but when it came time for her to heel off lead, as I followed the judge’s directions Sierra drifted away from me. Subtly at first, then wider and wider, until she knew with certainty that she was not, indeed, tethered to me or anything else. Upon this very exciting realization, she proceeded to display (it was a SHOW, after all) her athletic prowess by running circles around me at a high rate of speed. Centrifugal force naturally widened each lap until she was using all available space. There, at the outward boundaries of the obedience ring, she settled in on a comfortable orbit. A planet. And there, in the middle of the ring, I stood. The Sun. I actually stopped spinning around to see her behind me, finding some odd amusement in looking straight ahead, knowing soon enough and on regular intervals she would pass through my field of vision in a swift, graceful arc. Day. Night. Repeat.

Meanwhile, my beloved Sandy stands outside the ring, her face in her hands. A woman nearby, realizing Sandy was with the Sun in the middle of the ring whose planet was really in the zone now, refining techniques for gaining traction while turning by continuing to accelerate, like a sports car on an exit ramp, sympathetically patted Sandy on the back. “I’m so sorry,” the woman said, not yet realizing that Sandy wasn’t aghast or crying, but trying to suppress audible laughter. Sandy revealed her face and explained through tears that it was in fact the absolute funniest thing she had ever seen.

Planet Sierra grew bored or tired, her orbit deteriorated, and she came to me. I calmly hooked her leash to her collar and looked at the judge, Sierra sitting perfectly at my side. “Um, you know you’re eliminated, right?” Eliminated? That’s it?? I assumed I would actually be fined or escorted off the premises. The judge did permit us to complete the group sit/stay and down/stay and, probably due to exhaustion, Sierra did those exercises perfectly.

And that is how my dog show career started and ended. It’s no wonder Sandy wants me to get back into it.

6 comments:

hwvizsla said...

Oh god how I wish that was on video!!LOL And like all who've been in dogs awhile, I too have had to "heel alone", doing an off lead heeling pattern by myself,whilst my ever faithful dog was doing something else to amuse the crowd. So, if it makes you feel ANY better...you are not alone!! ;-)

Peg said...

I sure wish I could have been there to see that in person!!!
I can get a pretty good mental picture though-your Sierra was a very pretty girl and sounds like she was really your very free spirited,fun loving girl.

Ed. said...

"Free spirited" is one of those things that sounds good in a dog, until it's yours! Like, beware that shelter dog that everyone says has a "great sense of humor!"

Peg said...

So true, those are wonderful characteristics--in someone elses dog!!

Ed. said...

Come to think of it, I believe your Bitz can be described as a fun loving free spirit a very good sense of humor...

Joel said...

Ed, that little story just made my day! Cudo's to Sandy for keeping her laughter in, but it would have been even funnier if she would have let it out!

If Sierra needs a home let us know. Riley said he would gladly take her!

Joel